Weekends Are For Decisions!!

Weekends Are For Decisions!

Lately all my good decisions seem to appear at weekends: on Saturday the germ of an idea commences, and then nags me during its germination for 24 hours. On Sunday afternoon, I find myself putting the decision into effect. Last weekend, which was the Memorial Day holiday weekend here in the States, I embraced my Shadow, and have been rolling with that one for the past week. What a difference that decision has made in my life, and joy!

This weekend I rolled out from under a major boulder, one that seemed far taller and wider than I, and much more immovable. Since I couldn't budge the boulder, I had to find a way to escape it, and I did. On Saturday morning I realised that the situation had become unmanageable to the point that the merest thought of it caused me to slip into a pit of black despair. That, clearly, was untenable. So I spent a little more than the 24 hours deciding that I needed to act. When I did, Sunday afternoon, it followed an assault on my Shadow life {dangling a carrot I didn't really care about before me, then demanding to know if I planned to fulfill my overdue duties}. My response: doubtfully--I'm in a crisis, in regard to this venue, so more than likely I won't be continuing beyond the present.

Actually, the present ended only a couple of hours later; now I'm not continuing with it at all. A while back, I spent 19 months living in a particular geographical region in which I continuously perceived myself as emotionally smothered. Odd as it sounds, emotionally I could not breathe. The awareness of being pressed, as was occasionally performed on witches centuries ago, was constant and vivid. {Yes, I know that historically only Giles Corey was pressed, and he not accused of witchcraft, but rather condemned for reporting his wife Martha and some others.} The comparison still stands though: living there felt like lying prone with rocks laid atop my lungs.

So too is the situation I ended yesterday: only this boulder was larger than life, and much uglier.

This weekend decision-making process is enlightening; so far the changes have proved scrumptious. I'm eager to see what the next weekend will bring.

{4 Jun 07}